Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Colpo di fulmine

“Colpo di fulmine. The thunderbolt, as Italians call it. When love strikes someone like lightning, so powerful and intense it can’t be denied. It’s beautiful and messy,
cracking a chest open and spilling their soul out for the world to see. It turns a person inside out, and there’s no going back from it. Once the thunderbolt hits, your life is
irrevocably changed.” 
― J.M. DarhowerSempre

I loved this quote because it made me think of how amazing and wonderful yesterday was.  We are 6 weeks along now and generally the fertility clinic likes to wait until we are 7 weeks to do an ultrasound to check on baby.  T's mom is in town but leaving today and so she wouldn't be here to see her newest grandchild if we waited.  J convinced them that we needed to have an ultrasound sooner and that we wouldn't be discouraged if we didn't see a heartbeat yet.  It worked and they agreed to do one sooner!

Let me just say how excited I was that we were able to see little snowflake sooner than later, but I think it is safe to say we were all a bit nervous about what we were going into.  I went to lunch before our appointment with J and Ms. L, we were all a bit anxious for our appointment and ready to get there.

We got to the fertility clinic and waited for the doctor to get there.  I was so nervous that we would be devastated after this appointment because something was wrong.  J&T were nervous that there was more than one growing in there.  I will say that my beta numbers were higher than normal so it could have been a possibility that this little one split on us.

The second that little tiny body popped up on the screen I was relieved.  I was so glad to see that this baby was growing and healthy.  It is so stressful in the beginning of any pregnancy but I feel a huge weight lifting knowing that they aren't going to be heartbroken.  I was so happy that baby was hanging out in there.

I was 6w1d when we had our ultrasound and so there was a good chance it was too early to see or hear a heartbeat yet.  To our surprise we saw and heard this little one's heartbeat.  I am elated for us!!  I look over and Ms. L is crying and so I started crying.  J&T are literally just ear to ear grinning.  It is finally more real and is happening.  I have felt a little more guarded with this journey and more nervous about what if and so it was so nice and reassuring to see that there is a baby growing and it's sticking around and not going anywhere.

Honestly I wish I could have bottled that moment in time to remember forever.  I love seeing the looks on mom, dad, grandma and grandpas faces when they saw little snowflake and heard his little heart pounding.  That is one of those most perfect moments and makes this whole process worth it.  The shots are worth seeing them light up and get excited.  Now if only there was a way to make the next 34 weeks to go by faster!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Final Beta

We had our final beta on Monday the 11th and it was perfect!  It was....


We are definitely pregnant and expected a very strong baby in there!  We have our first ultrasound this coming Monday and are hoping to see a heartbeat.  It still might be a little early so we are trying to not get our hopes up if we don't see one then.  YEAH for our little snowflake wanting to stick around. :)

Thursday, May 7, 2015


I figured I would share the good, the bad and the very ugly of this process.  A couple days ago I ended up having quite the rash near my injection site.  It was swollen, hot and super itchy.  I thought maybe it was just a weird knot but after some reassurance to go in I'm glad I did.

I had called the clinic who said to come in the morning to get it looked at, if it got worse or unbearable to go into the instacare.  I ended up going to the instacare and it was determined that I had cellulitis which meant it was infected.  It was still very swollen and miserable but they started me on a pregnancy safe antibiotic that night.  I seem to always wait til it is 9pm or later to go get my stuff checked out.  The instacare put dots around it to make sure it wasn't going out of the lines.

The next morning the clinic called and there was a misunderstanding on my part and I thought that since I went to the instacare that I was okay and didn't need to be seen.  They still wanted me to come in.  I made arrangements with work to leave.  Then I got a call that they wanted my family doctor or a dermatologist to look at it.  I thought it was best to see a dermatologist if possible since they specialize in skin.  By the morning it was exceeding the dots that were made last night.  That made me a bit nervous and I was hoping that it was just because the antibiotic wasn't completely in my system yet.

Finding a dermatologist that was open that day was becoming kind of difficult, most were booked til mid Summer.  I finally found an office that would see me that day, I didn't care who it was as long as we were seen that day.

I had text J saying that they wanted me to be seen and she immediately got ready and was at the fertility clinic before I even found coverage at work.  I was so glad she was coming with so that we could make sure all was well.  We had a good time waiting for our appointment too.

When we finally saw the doctor she immediately said it was definitely infected, made me feel better for going in the night before.  She also said that it looked like the antibiotic was working and that it was within the dots.  That was a relief since it was exceeding when I got to work.  She gave me a cortisone spray to use for the itching which was great.  She mentioned that if this happened again it could be more of a reaction to the oil so that is something we have to consider too.

I'm just glad to know that it wasn't a huge deal and we got it figured out quickly.  I am also grateful that I didn't need them to pull any liquid off or pack anything in the area.  The swelling has gone down considerably and it will hopefully clear up really soon.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Another beta...

I love seeing this number double every couple of days.  This means we have a very strong little one in there and little snowflake is growing and thriving!! :)

Monday, May 4, 2015


I had my official beta per the clinic today and it was 333 which is PERFECT!!  WE ARE PREGNANT!!!  I am on day 10 but was 9.50dpt when I had my blood drawn.  I don't have another blood draw until the following week but the clinic agreed to let us have another done two days later.  I am more obsessed with seeing this number double the way it needs to.  It is comforting to see it go up since we have to wait for our ultrasound.  Ultrasound is in a few weeks...

Friday, May 1, 2015


Any surrogate will tell you that you become obsessed and addicted to seeing that line get darker and darker.  I couldn't help but constantly taking tests to see it get darker and be reassured that the baby was growing and doing okay.  It is hard not to.

My last test I took

On Friday I also had my blood drawn to see what the levels were, they generally want the numbers to double every 48 hours.  My numbers were at 85 on Friday morning which meant we were right on track.  I don't have my official beta per the clinics orders until Monday morning.  We have dinner with J, T and the kids.  We also get to meet Todd's mom for the first time!  I am so excited!