cracking a chest open and spilling their soul out for the world to see. It turns a person inside out, and there’s no going back from it. Once the thunderbolt hits, your life is
― J.M. Darhower, Sempre
I loved this quote because it made me think of how amazing and wonderful yesterday was. We are 6 weeks along now and generally the fertility clinic likes to wait until we are 7 weeks to do an ultrasound to check on baby. T's mom is in town but leaving today and so she wouldn't be here to see her newest grandchild if we waited. J convinced them that we needed to have an ultrasound sooner and that we wouldn't be discouraged if we didn't see a heartbeat yet. It worked and they agreed to do one sooner!
Let me just say how excited I was that we were able to see little snowflake sooner than later, but I think it is safe to say we were all a bit nervous about what we were going into. I went to lunch before our appointment with J and Ms. L, we were all a bit anxious for our appointment and ready to get there.
We got to the fertility clinic and waited for the doctor to get there. I was so nervous that we would be devastated after this appointment because something was wrong. J&T were nervous that there was more than one growing in there. I will say that my beta numbers were higher than normal so it could have been a possibility that this little one split on us.
The second that little tiny body popped up on the screen I was relieved. I was so glad to see that this baby was growing and healthy. It is so stressful in the beginning of any pregnancy but I feel a huge weight lifting knowing that they aren't going to be heartbroken. I was so happy that baby was hanging out in there.
I was 6w1d when we had our ultrasound and so there was a good chance it was too early to see or hear a heartbeat yet. To our surprise we saw and heard this little one's heartbeat. I am elated for us!! I look over and Ms. L is crying and so I started crying. J&T are literally just ear to ear grinning. It is finally more real and is happening. I have felt a little more guarded with this journey and more nervous about what if and so it was so nice and reassuring to see that there is a baby growing and it's sticking around and not going anywhere.
Honestly I wish I could have bottled that moment in time to remember forever. I love seeing the looks on mom, dad, grandma and grandpas faces when they saw little snowflake and heard his little heart pounding. That is one of those most perfect moments and makes this whole process worth it. The shots are worth seeing them light up and get excited. Now if only there was a way to make the next 34 weeks to go by faster!