Sunday, May 4, 2014

Birth Story-Part 3

While the new parents were adoring their new arrival I was slowly losing more and more blood.  I actually don't remember much at this point and probably because of how much I was losing.  I do remember that my doctor was stitching me up and kept saying how much I was losing.  The nurses were kneading my belly like dough and I remember getting two shots in my leg and I guess they had kept me on pitocin to help with the clotting.  It was getting bad enough where my doctor said they'd have to do a D&C on me or they'd insert some kind of balloon into my uterus.  I ended up having three different interventions and it finally started getting better and was able to stop hemorrhaging.  I found out later that I lost about 400 cc of blood.  The entire time I kept thinking I don't want a blood transfusion, I don't want one even though it was never mentioned.

I honestly don't remember much from the time he was delivered to being moved into the recovery room, I literally felt like I was out of body.  I felt like I was slowly dying, so I will tell you what little I do remember.

I remember one of my other surro friends coming in after he was delivered.  I thought it was after I had been cleaned up and covered but was told she came in while still getting stitched up.  I remember being extremely cold and shaking uncontrollably.  I had piles and piles of warm blankets on top of me plus around my neck and head and still feeling like I was freezing.  The shaking was so bad and wouldn't stop either.  I'm grateful I had my friend taking pictures because she has pictures of the parents holding the baby by me so I could see him and stroke his soft face.  I remember none of this though.  My mom told me that everyone was so loud and chaotic, I again remember none of this.  I just remember shaking and being freezing cold.  I remember my ex husband bringing our daughter in and she was able to see the baby and cuddle with him.  I remember my surro friend saying to pull it together since my daughter would be arriving shortly.  I looked ridiculous with all the blankets and on top of that had the oxygen nose piece in to help since I wasn't getting enough oxygen on my own.  I remember being extremely numb still and when they were ready to wheel me to the recovery room I had to roll from bed to bed.  I feel like I lost that entire night because I was so out of it and feeling so loopy.

They said I had to hold the baby while they wheeled me over to recovery, for some reason the parents couldn't just walk him over.  Then once in the room we were taking pictures and people were slowly saying goodbye and leaving.  It had been an extremely eventful and long day!

That first night was a nightmare to say the least!  One of the shots they gave me to stop the bleeding has a nasty side effect of diarrhea and boy did it hit me hard.  I was still extremely numb and was not able to take care of myself and needed assistant to use the restroom and to clean myself.  It was a humbling and humiliating night to say the least.  The nurse was so rude and acted as if this was an adoption and treated me so poorly.  If I were to base my recommendation of this hospital from that experience alone I would NOT recommend anyway to go to that hospital at all.  When I would page for the nurse it would be forever before they would arrive and that is not acceptable in my eyes when I can't physically get out of the bed because I was still numb.

I was retaining urine and couldn't empty my bladder completely that first night and was having side effects from the one shot.  I kept paging to have them call my doctor to get medicine and to insert a catheter.  They refused and wouldn't and said they needed to wait on the on call doctor.  I was so miserable and just devastated.  Luckily my mom had some medicine in her purse that helped tons and I was finally able to fall asleep about 1:30 pm.  At one point I was in tears because of the entire situation and the nurses still sucked!

Around 7 am my OB came in to check on me.  I just love her!  I told her how the night went and she was so sweet and felt awful how things went.  Found out that it was stated in my chart about a few of my complaints and issues in my chart the entire time.  It just made me more mad that they weren't listening or checking my chart at least to see what was okay and what wasn't.

Later the nurse came in to update the day shift what was going on and who was who type of thing.  She told me the on call doctor didn't call back until about 4:30 am.  Livid is an understatement!  He will be getting an ear full when I go in for my 6 week check up most definitely.  I kept asking who the night nurse was going to be because I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be dealing with the same nurse again.

The rest of my stay there was very pleasant and I was doing pretty good.  The intended parents would come over or I would go to their room to visit.  I just couldn't get enough of that little guy and neither could my daughter.

We were all discharged on Wednesday and it was a little bittersweet knowing that they would be leaving for home far away.  Not knowing when or if I would ever see them in person again just kind of sucked!  I know I did something absolutely amazing though and know that this little boy was meant to come to this family through me.  It was an amazing ending!

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Birth Story-Part 2

I started feeling tons of pressure and thought it might be time to push but in the back of my mind kept reminding myself that is how I felt with my daughter and I wasn't even close to fully dilated.  I paged the nurse and when she checked me she said that I had a lip left and then it would be time.  She was going to page the doctor and let her know.

Every time I was checked I would have everyone leave the room so I felt like I had some dignity before I was completely exposed to the whole room.

The nurse was about to get the doctor when she just happened to walk in to check on me, she truly is the best doctor I've ever had.  The doctor came in and checked me and said I was ready.  At that point I had a mini panic about this being the end.  I had been wanting to be done with the pregnancy and have my body back but in that split second I freaked out.  I think I even said out loud that I wasn't ready yet, that it wasn't time.  I literally wanted to keep him safe a little longer.  It was a bit chaotic at this point and everyone seemed to be moving in super speed but in slow motion at the same time.  It is bizarre to think about.  Almost like it was out of body experience and I was watching from the outside in.

It was almost 5:30 pm and I had my mom on my left side and Mr. California was standing behind my mom waiting.  My friend, Jen was there taking pictures of the birth, I highly recommend having someone do that for you!  Mrs. California was suiting up to help deliver her son!  My best friend, Jenny was on my right side.  For a second Mrs. C and Jenny were almost not allowed to be in the room.  The nurses were being brats about how many people could be in the room.  Yeah I don't think so.

It came time to push and I honestly was so nervous!  With my daughter I pushed for almost 2 hours and she needed assistance to make her entrance.  I was worried that I'd be pushing forever with no progress and need a c-section.  A c-section was my biggest worry since I could tell how big this baby was going to be.  I started pushing and my mom was cheering me on and counting and as well as my friend.  I pushed with all my might and honestly didn't know if I was even pushing since I could NOT feel a darn thing.  Another worry was that I would feel the stitches I knew I would be needing after baby was born and had pushed the epidural booster in between contractions at one point.  I pushed for a good 15 minutes though and he was Earth side and placed him on my belly while his mom cut his cord.  It was absolutely amazing and the coolest thing to watch her deliver her baby and the excitement on her face.

I am pretty sure I had a tear streaming down my face the entire time I was pushing him out.  I could feel the presence of my biggest cheerleaders that had passed.  It was one of the most spiritual experiences I have been apart of.

While he was on my belly I was able to kind of wipe his face off and then they took him to the bed where his mom was able to adore him more.  At this point the dad was repetitively thanking me and we were both just sobbing!  It was truly an amazing thing to be part of!

My friend, Jen who took the L&D photos and is a fellow surro sister 
Finally holding him when I wasn't so loopy

My daughter meeting him for the first time.

My friend, Jenny!