Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Last ultrasound

Had my final ultrasound this morning and so glad to be done with the weeny wand or so I thought.  I had my ultrasound and everything looked great!!  The lining was a 7.54mm which is really great since we still had a week to go before the lining would be much more before starting the progesterone.  My ovaries were being good girls and not ovulating at all and everything was good to go!!

I got the call from the clinic saying they wanted me to have another ultrasound done on Monday the 5th of August since I was just barely within the range they wanted me.  I was disappointed about having to have another ultrasound and then a little worried that something was going to ruin this from happening.

They decided to up my estrogen a tiny bit which we all felt better about and hoped that it would all work out in the end.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Side Effects

Since being on delestrogen shots I have had a few side effects that I wasn't expecting and was texting or calling a friend freaking thinking something was wrong.  Only to discover that it is just one of the many side effects of the hormone they have me on.  If it wasn't for friends who have been on these meds I would think I was going to die.

All my shots are done at night and so these effects don't hit me until the following day if I'm lucky.  One of the first things to hit me and hit me hard was the worst and I mean WORST headache I've ever had.  I spread from my neck clear to my eyes and then rotated back and forth.  No amount of fluids and rest would make that beast go away.  I am anti taking medicine so I just waited it out and hoped for the best.  Having an awesome headache right now and it just plain sucks!

I went for a run the day after the shot and although it had been a while since I had ran I was having what felt like a panic attack, completely drenched in sweat, super red faced and it wasn't like I sprinted by any means.  I couldn't figure out what was going on until when I was doing nothing in the cool air conditioned apartment and a rush went over me and then I knew I was having a hot flash.  Welcome to hormone induced menopause!  I completely get it now mom, I still don't feel like it needs to be 50 degrees in the house at all times of the day and year round. :)

Emotional roller coaster was almost left out and then I got the sweetest text from Mrs. California and I was practically in tears.  I don't usually cry, like ever unless something is really just amazing!  I just feel so blessed to be helping such an amazing family and count them as my forever friends and apart of my life!  The mountains the Lord has moved for us to be apart of this journey together is simply amazing and a miracle!

I have had bouts of nausea and tiredness as well which are just preparing me for the awesomeness known to the first trimester!

As much as the side effects aren't very fun I would do it all over again to help this family or any family.  I know the outcome is going to be amazing!

Friday, July 26, 2013

She knows

video
I have kept my daughter very involved in this entire process and this is what she told me the other day!  I thought I would share it!

She has known for the past year and a half what was going to happen and that the babies were not coming home with us.  Since she is a bit older I didn't want her to see my belly growing and think she was going to have a sister or brother so we've talked about it so many times.  She is smart and I knew if I didn't talk to her about this and keep her involved she might have a broken heart in the end and that is not what I want to happen.  She is actually excited for mommy to help her and I keep telling her of the fun things we can do when this is all said and done!

Reactions




I feel like this explains the reaction from people I have told in the past.  It is kind of funny and really sad all at the same time.  Some people are really great and are cool with it or some just are weird about it and don't say anything at all.  Then you have those people that freak and think it is awful because they don't understand exactly what is going on.  I have had a lot of everything but it is slowly starting to be good reactions.  It is honestly funny to see the reactions sometimes and sometimes I am even shocked by how they react depending on the reaction.  So far this time around with me coming out and telling people that I am carrying for another couple they have been nothing short of amazing!  I am grateful for the people in my life that have been amazing and loving from the beginning, it has made this all a bit easier to handle and give me the boost that I need.  So thank you for being amazing, loving and just being there even if you don't get it or understand my reasons for doing this!

I'm not and never had asked for support in doing this.  I have planned on doing this for a VERY long time and would have done it if I had no one but my little one holding my hand the entire way.  I know it is something I was destined to do and help women, couples and families in this way.  It is just a great feeling that I have more then just my small group of carrier friends rooting me on and letting me vent to them.  So thank you again for being the awesome people in my life!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Second Ultrasound

I had my second ultrasound this morning and it went great!  I am at the tale end of AF and so my lining was smaller then a couple weeks ago at 5.94mm.  Great news was that I was not ovulating at all; if I was we could possibly have to cancel this cycle and start all over with this cycle.  IM and I were very happy to hear about this!  This go around I remembered to tell the nurse that I have a latex allergy and to please switch out the weenie wand cover.  t was a quick visit and was in and out in about thirty minutes.  I got my blood drawn and checked my estradiol to make sure it was raising with the meds I've been on for a few days.

I got a call hours later from IP's fertility nurse to let me know that they wanted to up my dose of delestrogen my next dose.  I was okay and figured that was going to happen to help ensure that I had a thicker lining.

My IM has officially started looking for flights for us to come to California for the transfer.  We will be there a couple days prior so we can hang out and do a few fun things before I am on bed rest and not allowed to move.  I will probably be pulling a Phoebe and laying upside down and legs in the air.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Shot #2

Shot #2 I really thought I would have the courage to just stick myself but it just didn't happen.  I was so nervous and called my babysitter/cousin if she would give me the shot.  I got over there when I went to pick up my daughter and her husband was there and used to be an EMT so he was showing her how to do it and was ready to give it to me.  I brought all of my supplies for it!  This shot stung more but I think it was because it was lower then the other one was.  It got done though and my daughter was there holding my hand to comfort me.  She has been so sweet about mommy getting all these shots!  If she could she would probably fix me dinner and baby me!

Saturday, July 20, 2013

First shot


video

I started my shots on Friday evening and was going to attempt to do it myself and quickly chickened out.  I called a friend to see if she could help me and she said her mom was home and would do it for me.  I drove the 20 minutes, yes I was too scared to do it myself and didn't want to explain to a neighbor (haven't told too many people) what it was for when I just wanted the shot and then to go home and to bed.

We got there and I had no idea what or how to do this and the directions weren't that great.  We ended up having to wait for my friend to get off of work to help me out.  She got there and found out we were putting the meds in the wrong syringe which could have been really bad.  I put the 18 Gauge needle on the syringe and put .2 in and then switch the needle out to the 25 gauge.  My clinic didn't want to spend the extra 50 cents per needle I guess and had originally sent me 22 gauge needles.  Not bad but unless they are going to have to attempt at some point to stick this in your behind, no thanks!  My friend gave me her extras which I greatly appreciate!!  What my instructions didn't really explain to me very well is that once I stick myself with the needle I need to pull back on the syringe to make sure I don't get any blood in the back flow.  Making sure I didn't accidentally hit a blood vessel, which wouldn't be a good thing to insert the meds into my blood.

My friends mom drew circles where I needed to put the needle and I really was going to attempt to do it myself and then felt better her helping guide my hand.  That helped and it really wasn't that bad but boy was a shaky and nervous about screwing it up.  She checked the back flow and then we inserted very, very slowly the medicine.  The medicine is super thick and so it took a little while for it to go completely in but it was good for a first time.  I think next time I will attempt to do it myself and just lay on my side like I've heard some other girls do.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Birth Control

So I have been on the pill for a while now, long before I started this journey to being a gestational carrier.  I liked the pill I was on before I started this journey and it made me feel okay.  The pill they have put me on makes me feel absolutely crazy.  I feel all over the place emotion wise and I don't like it.  I can happily say I took my last pill this weekend and will hopefully be off of them for the next 10 months!! :)

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Meds



Those who don't know when you are a gestational carrier you do IVF just as if it were your own embryos only you are using the couples.  We need to ensure that everything is just so and that my body doesn't discard or attack the embryos when they are transferred, hence the billion meds I will be taking.

I will be taking delestrogen every Friday and Monday til we transfer and possibly longer, haven't heard about it being longer yet.  I'll also be taking an antibiotic the first week of shots which is fine by me.  A week prior to transfer date I will start the Progesterone in Oil shots every single day.  I am probably the most nervous about these shots only because I've heard horror stories about them.  Everyone has described the PIO shot as thick peanut butter going in, so a little uncomfortable.  They have ordered crinone suppositories which is to substitute the PIO shots once we get a positive beta but I am not sure how I feel about the suppository.  I might request to just stay on the shots instead of doing the suppository.  We will see how badly my rear needs a break from shots.

I seriously did the happy dance and jumping up and down over getting this package, it was like Christmas Day only in July!

Friday, July 12, 2013

First Ultrasound

I have my calendar and am set to go.  It is a lot of information to take in but it could be more complicated.  I had a bit of a freak out since I know a few girls who have had to take quite a few more meds to get started before transfer.  I have been really spoiled and have to take one shot twice a week in the rear before I start the PIO shots a week prior to transfer.  I was worried that it wouldn't be enough to get my lining to where they would want it.  After talking to my surrogate sisters I felt loads better and I'm just going to count my blessings that it is less I have to try and remember. :)

So the Reproduction Care Center in Sandy, Utah was amazing and were so sweet when I showed up.  They had gotten my IM's information the day before and so I just had to show up and go from there.  I had talked to them the previous day and they took some of my information then.  When I showed up I had to sign a couple forms and that was it.

I got undressed for the ultrasound and the doctor and nurse both came in.  The doctor was so nice and chatted a bit before he got started.  This appointment he checked my lining to see what it is prior to starting meds, my lining was at a little over 7 mm which is awesome I hear.  He then checked my ovaries and follicles.  I had 8 follicles on the right and only 4 on the left.  Absolutely no cysts on my ovaries which is a great sign.  I really believe even more so that this is what I'm supposed to be doing and God is making that happen.  I am prone to cysts so it is a miracle to me that I haven't had one since I started this process over a year ago.  The doctor said everything looked great for me to move forward with being a carrier.

The doctor did say that with my left ovary being a bit on the small side and only having 4 follicles he was a little concerned for my egg supply.  Before this appointment I have honestly thought about doing an egg retrieval on myself and freezing my eggs because I have no idea how old I'll be when I get remarried and want to still be able to have more of my own babies.  After I cycle through this journey I will be returning but as a patient to figure out what my egg count is at and go from there.  It did make me a little worried but then I know it is very possible for women to have more babies on one good ovary.

I had a sad moment about my ovary and my sweet IM made me feel so much better.  I really am grateful for the friendship with this family.  I can't wait to help them add to their kids!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

We have a date!!!!!

The title says it all!!  We have a transfer date and I am so excited and haven't stopped jumping up and down yet.  We have been anticipating this moment for nearly 7 months now!  August 9th is going to arrive so soon!  It feels like a dream that is is actually real now!!!